Good Morning Steve and Morning Crew,
I would like some knowledge on how to handle this matter. The problem I am having is that is my wife and my mother do NOT get along at this current time! I am African American and my wife is Caucasian. We also have two bi-racial children. There has been tension between my mother and wife since I returned back from overseas. When we were just dating my mom would always call and check up on my wife, but after we got married it seemed that the relationship between the two started to spiral out of control. There has been two occasions. On the first occasion, I had a re-integration meeting with my unit arriving from deployment and for some reason my mother was in an ill mood over my wife choosing to sit in a different part of the room. My wife soon started to notice that there was a bad vibe at that time. Shortly thereafter, we headed back to our home along with my mother and sister. At a particular point they started to argue and name call so much it made me sick to my stomach and upset. For a while they would not talk and my children could not see my side of the family because my wife refused to be around them at the time. After that storm blew over they slowly started to make amends and be respectful of one another. On the second occasion, we went to visit my mother on Easter Sunday and everything was going fine. Until, my nephew got a scratch under his eye. My mother automatically blamed my wife of doing something to him, when it was clearly my daughter, that had a toy she was waving around and accidentally hit my nephew in the face, in which I witnessed. My mom started to curse, yell and shout at my wife and at that time I told my wife that we were leaving, so we left. Later on, my wife told me that she did not want to be, nor the kids around my mom. This hurts me terribly because I love my mother. She raised all four of my siblings and myself on her own as a single parent and I respect her for that. I feel that my kids are and will suffer from most of this nonsense. They already hardly ever get to see much of my side of the family as it is and they love it anytime they are around their cousins from my side of the family. I don’t know what to do sometimes and would like your opinion. Should I go against my wife’s wishes and take them to see my mother and family when she goes to work or should I just let it go and keep the distance and contribute to my kids not getting to see and know their family? I’m torn between the two, what should I do?