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Strawberry Letter- My Ex-Husband and His Family Are Mad That My Sons Call My Husband Dad

 

Good Morning,

I need help. I was married to my high school sweetheart for 6 years and unfortunately he was cheating on me for 5 of those 6 years. We have four beautiful young men from our union. The last words of my ex-husband, was that no one would want me because I had four boys and that they would just use me. Once we divorced, he moved back to his hometown, and I moved closer to family. I met my current husband once I moved, during my current husband and I's courtship, I made my boys call him "Mr. and his first name" (don't want to mention his name), out of respect. My husband has not only provided for myself and my boys, but he loves them just like they are his own, as he has three wonderful and beautiful young adults as well. When my ex and I divorced our twins had just turned one, so they really didn't know my ex, and truly believe that their dad is my current husband. When one of my twins had surgery, he was the first one that he saw when he woke up, and my ex husband nor his family (his dad's side of the family) never even came to the hospital to see him. Well once me and my current husband decided to get married, I told the boys that they didn't have to call him Mr. ***** any longer, but they had to come up with a respectful name to call him. Our oldest son got together with his brothers, and they decided to call him dad. We asked if they were sure, and they said yes, that is what we want to call him. They said that since he is marrying our mom, he is our dad. We said ok, well once my ex-husband and his family (his dad's side) found out about this, they went to social media, they texted me, talked foul about me and my husband saying I shouldn't make them call him their dad, because he is not and I was wrong. Mind you during the time that I was a single mom, I didn't receive any child support, my boys didn't get any calls, birthday cards nothing, his parents (his mom's side) and my parents helped take care of my boys so much that they could have claimed them on their taxes if they wanted to (if you get my drift.) Now our older children (my husband's biological children), call me by my first name because that's what they wanted to call me, and they introduce me as their mom, and not their step mom. Just like if someone asks us how many children do we have we say 7, because we listened to your advice about taking the word "Step" out of the equation. I have repeatedly told him and his family that the boys know that my husband is not their biological dad, and it is ok for them to have two dads, especially since he (my husband) is providing a roof over their heads, clothes on their backs, food in their mouths, he provides emotional, spiritual, and financial support and they still seem to have a problem with it. Multiple occasions I have to tell his family that if they say anything else negative about the boys calling my husband dad that they would not be able to see them. I don't want to do this because I want my boys to know ALL their family on both sides. I'm tired of arguing with this side of the family in regards to this. Please HELP US. I am so grateful to my husband for his understanding, his help and not getting frustrated when all this goes down, but I am to my whit's end with this nonsense.

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