Hey Steve and Shirley,
I can't believe I'm writing this letter but here we go. I'm a 25 year old male and I have been married for 11 months. I love my wife dearly and marriage has been good for me. She is my ride or die. My wife is now pregnant about 4 months to be exact and when I found out I was excited. This is our first child. When we went in to the doctor to find out the gender my world was rocked and we found out it was a boy. Now don't get me wrong, as a man, I thought this was great news. Then I started thinking I don't know what the hell I am doing. How do you be a Dad? I didn't have a great relationship with my father. It is still not great. I have reached out to him and I'm working on it because I want my kid to grow up seeing me and my father having a good relationship. Right now I'm not sure how to pass the right type of discipline and love on to my son. My mind of course is occupied about the expenses of having a baby but how to be a good Dad, I don't know. I normally have a good handle on things. I'm the go to guy for my homies they come to me for marital advice, relationship advice, financial advice, and I am a mentor to a few young men in my community. I'm not supposed to be the one worried. I don't have anyone to go to about my worries about being a Dad. I don't even want anyone to know that I am worried. I don't want my wife to think I'm not gonna be able to handle my business and grind out here to make a better life for us. I just feel like I'm at a disadvantage. No one taught me how to fish, swim, skate, and all of those other things that a father is supposed to teach his son. I have to learn how to do those things as a grown up and then teach my son, I feel like I am behind. My wife is very supportive she tells me that I am going to be a great Dad and that I'm a good husband . It feels good to have that beside me. She thinks I'm helpful by cooking and reading up on her pregnancy and her symptoms but the truth is I am terrified. The way I feel about not being a good father to my unborn son is a feeling I can not escape. I'm not running away or anything like that I'm going to be there by my wife's side and be active with my son. I just don't know how to right now. I feel like a burden is lifted now that I got this off my chest. I really want to be a good example to my son. Any advice?